i’ve been living with depression for a very long time. for the most part, i’ve tried dealing with it on my own. the last few months have been a whirlwind of emotion and feeling like i was constantly keeping myself from drowning. i was afraid to talk about it. afraid of admitting defeat in some way. it took several people constantly pointing out my flaws and me almost believing them before realizing it was the depression taking over. taking away my motivation or general care for anything. i would surround myself with people for the mere sake of not having to be alone. once i was home, i was there, with the weight of it all. depression can be disguised as many things…laziness, passiveness, underperformance, loss of interest. these aren’t normal ways of living or normal things to feel. if you or someone you know is showing these signs, then ask questions. a simple “how are you?” could’ve saved me on so many days. just knowing someone truly cared. it’s a hard thing to admit to yourself, let alone someone else, so sometimes having another person bring it into question can make the most difference. i’ve finally admitted to myself that i can’t do it on my own.
know that you’re not alone and that it is a very real thing.