look forward.

As humans, I believe we are innately negative, always quick to criticize and kick ourselves when we’re most vulnerable. In all things there must be a balance of forces, energies, etc. If we are the negative, then what is the positive? In my eyes the balance is the universe and nature. I am most happy and at peace when I am outside soaking in the replenishing sunlight or enjoying the white, crisp beauty of winter. Even the calming stillness of the night comforts my weary mind. Sitting on this porch right now I can see all the colors changing around me. This is much like myself. I’m working towards this transformation and understanding of the person I am supposed to be. As the leaves transform so do my thoughts and personal expectations. Now is the time for me to let go of all that has been holding me back: fear, resentment, doubt, and uncertainty. With the passing of summer and color comes the passing of the things that were a hindrance in me moving forward. For me, the winter months are a time of reflecting and rebuilding. Preparing you for the next phase of life. I will seek shelter and comfort in myself because I know I’m capable of it. I am strong enough. I have family and friends and I’m so thankful for them, but working on me is the most important. If you’re unable to let go of the weight of negativity and let the universe balance you out, then you’re not going to fully enjoy what life has to offer. A close friend recently told me that I needed to allow myself to feel and have emotions instead of shutting it all down. The more you push sadness and pain aside, the more it builds up. Feel it when it comes and allow the positive aspects of life to help you work through it. I look forward in anticipation. I have been given so many great things in life so far, and I know it will only get better. All the ebbs and flows in this life tally up to make you the person you are supposed to be. Let the bad days come, then let them go. Let them go. Stay focused on the goodness ahead and it will be there.10460227_10152858497787847_5212927238935628986_n

complacency

i’m flying home in 5 hours
i haven’t slept yet
probably won’t
it’s a strange feeling
one i can’t really explain
i’m excited, but indifferent
this place that i’m going
what should be “home”
is now just a place with
memories
ones i’m not sure i want to relive
people i’m not sure i want to be part of my life
i had a great childhood
for the most part
then you grow up
people change
friendships fade
now home is a place that makes me
hurt
hurt for the friends who have chosen to stay behind
wasting their lives
their potential
on meaningless temporary gratifications
which do nothing but ruin their chances
do people not see what’s out there?
a giant world
endless opportunities
how people are content with staying
in one place
forever
i’ll never understand
life is about experiencing great things
an amazing world was created for us
don’t remain stagnant
see it
enjoy it
please