Keep Going

Life is constantly changing. You make new friends, new jobs, new loves and new memories. Then sometimes you lose it all. When I wrote this I had a lot on my mind, but I think of it and smile knowing that the best is yet to come.

I pray that you will be as well as you can be
That you will find your purpose
And not hold back
I wish you the truest of love
And when you find it
That you grasp on for dear life
Cleaving to every smile and embrace
Remember that you are not the creator of your days
Only the gambler of their outcome
Do not forget who you are
This life has not been wasted
Each memory is a tally that makes up the whole
You are not missing what you seem to be
For all you need is inside
Keep searching with your whole heart
And beyond all beguiling
Know you’re never second best

lately

It’s almost been a year since I’ve written anything. I thought about starting with a clean slate and saying goodbye to everything on this blog, but at the end of the day I chose not to. Although my journey is a little different now, it has all led me to this point.
Some of you may be wondering what I’ve been up to the last few months, as you’ve noticed some changes in my life. I’m here to answer some of those questions, even though I don’t feel it’s really necessary. I want to be honest.
Our divorce was final the beginning of January. It wasn’t an angry divorce, but it was two people who finally decided nothing else could be done. I’ve had many people give me advice along the way, but honestly every situation is different and not all problems are meant to be fixed. I have no hard feelings about anything and I look back on it as a positive and loving learning experience. That’s really all that needs to be said.
As to what I’m doing now…
I decided to move back to Arkansas to re-group and get back on my feet. Those of you who are close to me know that I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, especially after something like this.
I missed the South. I missed my family. I needed their support and to be closer.
I have been doing what I can to focus on what will be the best for myself. Far too often I found myself sacrificing my dreams, feelings, emotions, etc. in order to make others happy or not hurt them. I honestly just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m making a daily effort to be my best self. I mess up. All the time. That’s what life is about. You’re supposed to fall down and get discouraged. If you don’t, then you’re not really experiencing the greatness life has to offer once you’ve came out on the other side.
So here I am, tired and a little broken, but working towards greater things. It’s funny how the pieces start falling into place once you start letting go…

these girls

I’m not sure I can explain in a few sentences how much this girl means to me. We’ve known each other since we were just babies, and here we are 25 years later. We became friends like most toddlers do … one hitting the other and the other biting back. We’ve seen each other’s darkest days and we’ve both made it out alive, healthier and happier. Many people reading this probably won’t know all this girl has been through, but I do, and to see her now, this happy, puts the warmest feeling in my heart. This little girl has saved her and she doesn’t even know it. One day I hope she comes to know and understand all the trials her momma has been through for her to be here. I look forward to watching this baby grow, even if it’s from across the country. I also look forward to seeing her momma grow and become the person she probably thought she’d never be a year ago.

takin it back: film

 
i love everything about photos.
i love capturing the moment.
candid smiles, laughs.
i am going to spend my summer learning as much as i can.
i want to shoot for me.
luckily, i have someone by my side to share in this experience.
chris and i took our old slrs out for a little fun.
here ya go.