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I haven’t written in so long, though I’ve had a million words to say. There’s something I’ve needed to write down for awhile now. Maybe just to see it in print and to let others know they’re not alone. I feel like it’s almost voodoo to talk about, but it happens all too often, with countless stories left untold. I’m talking about rape. Not just rape, but my rape. Just over three years ago I was faced with what has become my greatest trial in life. People try to have the right words to say but they don’t know. No one could even begin to know without unfortunately going through it themselves. Even then each case is different. One thing is certain, though. Rape is rape. Recently there have been several instances with politicians in the media trying to “define” what rape actually is. All this does for anyone who has experienced it is make them relive it all over again. Relive the shame, fear and worthlessness that we’ve all felt at one point or another. It is a constant battle. Every day I am faced with continuing to move forward or letting it get the best of me. This has forever changed me, but it does not define me. I am the only one who has the right to do that. I’ve chosen to make my rape into as positive of a situation as it can be. I have the ability to help others and be an advocate for the victims whose stories have gone unheard. We are survivors and we are a reason to rise.

Acceptance

I have came further than most will ever know. I don’t divulge things from my past, even though sometimes I think it would be easier. Easier if people knew the trials I’ve had to face and continue to overcome. Knowing that I really am happy though sometimes I may get down about things. This journey has only just begun, and I am proud of where I am in life. Where I’m going will only get better as long as I remember to breathe and take it all in a day at a time.

complacency

i’m flying home in 5 hours
i haven’t slept yet
probably won’t
it’s a strange feeling
one i can’t really explain
i’m excited, but indifferent
this place that i’m going
what should be “home”
is now just a place with
memories
ones i’m not sure i want to relive
people i’m not sure i want to be part of my life
i had a great childhood
for the most part
then you grow up
people change
friendships fade
now home is a place that makes me
hurt
hurt for the friends who have chosen to stay behind
wasting their lives
their potential
on meaningless temporary gratifications
which do nothing but ruin their chances
do people not see what’s out there?
a giant world
endless opportunities
how people are content with staying
in one place
forever
i’ll never understand
life is about experiencing great things
an amazing world was created for us
don’t remain stagnant
see it
enjoy it
please