regroup and refocus

Jocelyn CoffmanLeave a comment

It’s easy to get caught up in your head and worry about things you shouldn’t. Why does work, at a place you care about, have to be so stressful? How will I finish all these projects for school? How will I have money for everything I need? Have I eaten today? Does he/she even like me or want to talk to me? Will my apartment ever be organized? All of these negative thoughts run through my mind too often. If you’re allowing the negativity to creep in, then others will see it. It will manifest in ways you may not even realize, and in the process you will push people away when you don’t want to. You’ll get behind and feel overwhelmed. And eventually you’ll crash and burn.

That’s what I’ve allowed to happen – I say allow because it’s up to me and no one else.

I’m taking a mid-week break to reset and come back to earth. As I sit here and reflect on all the good, I realize the other things will work themselves out. I have too much amazing shit around me to be anything but happy. The universe has aligned over and over again to teach me lessons and bring new things into my life. There is no reason for me to deny myself the simple pleasure of existing. We cannot receive blessings if we are putting up blocks that prevent our own happiness. No event, deadline or person has the power to make you unhappy. At all. So why are we letting these things dictate the daily joy we deserve? Hear me when I say – we deserve all the happiness. This journey we’re on comes a day at a time. We have a chance to learn new lessons — about life, ourselves, and others — every. single. day. These lessons help complete us and our human experience. Be aware of the energy you’re bringing into the spaces and relationships in your life. If you feel the negativity creeping in, take a step back, regroup, and refocus. Don’t let something fall apart solely because you were in the wrong headspace. Negativity restricts your world and you deserve the full experience. Nothing worth having around will leave, so let go of what doesn’t stay and be stoked for all that is to come. You have no idea what lies ahead. If you trust the process and let things play out how they’re supposed to instead of unknowingly sabotaging everything, you’ll be blessed beyond measure. How amazing is that? You have the power to make it all worthwhile.

Make this ride more fun, loving and positive for yourself and those around you.

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the perfect ending is just beginning

Jocelyn CoffmanLeave a comment

 
the truest of words

as I have said before, and will keep saying until my entire being accepts it

erase anything that does not build you up and help you excel to your most positive self

heartache will happen

you will be disappointed

but do not stay in a place you know you don’t belong

do not devour yourself in hopes of reconciling things beyond repair

demons are real, spiritually and metaphorically, and they are there to attack you at any given moment

fight with everything to love yourself and to cling to things that uplift you and back away from things that hinder you

i am my own person

Jocelyn CoffmanLeave a comment

…and I will not set fire to myself to keep you warm.

I have a tendency to carry the emotions and energies of other people while simultaneously ignoring my own needs. I seek to help others, regardless of how it affects me. I’m learning that it’s more beneficial to me in the long run when I separate myself from things that aren’t creating a positive space to grow as a person. A few months ago I would’ve seen this as selfish and negative. However, I’ve realized that I don’t have to view it that way. This is something I constantly have to remind myself of. If we aren’t nourishing ourselves mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, we are doing a disservice to those we are trying to help. It’s okay to recognize and walk away from toxic relationships in your life. You don’t have to feel bad about it. There is no reason to feel bad about it. You may be holding on to people because you’re afraid of what your life will be without them, or what their life will be without you, but if you’re not building each other up then you should walk away. It isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is possible.

“The first law of nature is self-preservation. Cut off that which may harm you. But if it is worth preserving, and is meaningful, nourish it and have no regrets. Ultimately, this is true living and love of self…from within.”

Know that your self-preservation is relevant, important, and worth it.
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the art of experience

Jocelyn CoffmanLeave a comment

when i left utah a little over a year ago i would’ve never thought i’d miss it. ever. i was so burnt out on life and situational problems that i just needed to leave. i didn’t plan, i just left. at the time, it was exactly what i needed to do.

i had the opportunity to spend 10 days in utah a couple weeks ago. i can’t begin to explain what i felt when i saw the mountains again. all i could do was take pictures of them – up the canyon, from the freeway, on the side of the road…everywhere. there’s something about being enveloped in nature like that – surrounded by things so much bigger than yourself – physically and spiritually.

i spent one morning alone, driving through the canyon and thinking about my life over the last 16 months. what goals have i set for myself and how close am i to reaching them? what lessons have i learned? i’m closer now than i was at the beginning, but i got stuck in the middle. having time in utah to clear my head and rededicate my mind to following through with things is what i needed.

i’ve lost friends, made new ones and realized who and what i really need in my life. there’s a lot of bullshit out there and people who aren’t helping you grow as a person or inspiring you to do great things. sorting through it can be hard because once you do it’s easy to feel like you wasted a lot of time and energy on things that didn’t really matter. luckily, there’s always some good to pull out of the experience – and as mark groves (@createthelove) said, “experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.” it’s so true. you gain experiences, you learn from them, and you keep going. and there’s nothing wrong with that.

as i work on finishing school i know that arkansas isn’t where i’ll always be. i get told that maybe one day i’ll find a place where i’m happy but the thing is – it has nothing to do with not being happy. regardless of external struggles i have never felt this happy and this much myself. i know that i have so much to give as a person and when there’s nothing tying you down there’s no reason to stay in one place.

some people understand that and some don’t.
and that’s okay.
the world needs both types of people.

and no matter who you are, the experiences will continue. enjoy them no matter the outcome.

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