this is my fourth week in texas and i’m slowly wrapping my head around it. it’s hot, it’s filled with traffic, and it’s not pretty like home in arkansas. but even though coming here was very last minute, it was very much needed. mentally i’ve been back and forth almost every day sorting through my thoughts about life here. i miss the comfort of fayetteville but i needed to break out of that comfort zone. that is such a hard thing for me to do. i had to, though. i needed to push myself to become a better person. a more lovable, positive version of myself. i was not only hurting myself but taking it out on others around me. no one deserves that. it’s crazy how different i feel now. when you allow for the time to be selfish and truly focus on your own happiness, it’s amazing how much you learn about who you are and what you have to offer. i have a lot more to give than i ever truly understood, but i had to make sure i was taking care of myself first. when i began learning how to depend on myself emotionally and that i am in control of so much more than i realized, things started making a lot more sense. every relationship, whether platonic or romantic, took on a whole new meaning and i understood things on a much deeper level. i am so excited to see what this time in my life has in store. things keep falling into place when i thought everything was falling apart. sometimes it happens that way, though.
in the meantime, everyone pray i don’t have a heat stroke.