if there is one thing i do excessively it is to apologize for no reason. it is something that i’m just beginning to realize and notice in my daily life…and something that hinders me greatly at times. instead of taking a stand and backing up my views or feelings, i apologize for it. but why? i believe it comes from years and years of other people, mainly romantic relationships, placing blame on me for something that isn’t right instead of admitting their fault and working through it together. (i.e. i have actually blamed MYSELF for being cheated on before. what?) it has led me to think i’m not good enough and to feel almost depressed at times. accepting fault for things i didn’t do has created a version of myself that i’m not happy with that sneaks up on me from time to time. i know i’m an amazing person. i know i deserve everything good coming my way. i know i’m not doing anything wrong. for a long time i equated confidence with conceit and would cower down to avoid someone being upset with me. i’ll immediately apologize for absolutely nothing then overthink things and turn them into issues in my head. it has become second-nature to me, so much that i don’t even realize i’m doing it. having it pointed out to me recently has been like a blow to my head and heart, but it was needed. i am constantly growing and learning more about myself. there is a time and place for apologies, but it is never when you’re being yourself. no one should apologize for being themselves and for having their own views and opinions about things. if you don’t like something, learn to say no instead of apologizing. don’t apologize for going about your business in ways that are necessary to your well-being. as women, i feel like we work very hard to be polite. we don’t want to step on toes or cause a rift. we smile and go on our way. so, when we get upset, in fear that the person or situation we’re upset with will come crashing down on us, we apologize. for no damn reason. this, in turn can make you look weak, which i know for certain i’m not. own your shit and go on. stop apologizing (unless it is ACTUALLY warranted) and be confident in yourself as a person with a brain and emotions.
“life is about the choice to show up and be real. the choice to be honest. the choice to let our true selves be seen.”